I had a session with T today which was great. He said he thought I was wise not to respond. We talked a lot about my feelings about it and I feel certain it's the right thing.
This week, PCers, my husband, my good friend (and fellow trainee), responders from TELL (therapy exploitation link line) and now my therapist, have all confirmed what I already knew deep down, that further contact with him is risky and potentially very damaging.
I am ignoring his messages and if he contacts me again I will simply respond with one line telling him not to contact me again. (When I said I would write " Please don't contact me again" T said "don't bother with the 'Please').
I acknowledged today that no friendship can be built on such a dysfuntional foundation. So that's it. That's the end of any possibility of ever having a relationship with T1 in the future.