I sat with my t yesterday and asked him, "why didnt my family see i was acting just like my mother when they didnt like how i was acting?" Like when i was being mean or cruel. Instead they took it as something i initiated on my own, and kept telling me i was not a kind person.

A few years ago, it would have devastated me to admit even this much. At least now i know what my intentions are, even if they dont always come across to the other person.

I feel like maybe you are in the same space? Started your working years in the wrong place, with a false self. How do you find your good true self? Its a big job. Sometimes i feel like i am 4 years old, not 64, in terms of development. In terms of knowing what i want in life. Like even what i like to eat. Let alone, how to get along with people. How much progress can i make before i die? Age 15?