Hello Delicious: I this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks!
I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.
With regard to your concerns, I would simply like to suggest you are not doing anything wrong.
Don't
should on yourself.
Don't tell yourself: "I should be this way..." or "I should do this or do that..." You are your own person. You have a right to your own life. If you & your bf can come together & make a life on those terms, it's beautiful.
But in this day-&-age, it only works if the two of you can come to the relationship as individuals. The days of men ruling the roost, & women picking up after them, are over... as well they should be.
Perhaps your bf has yet to learn this.
You & your bf are still both very young. (I suppose you already knew that.)
What you're confronting are the same kinds of problems all couples face to one degree or another. I'm an older person. And my wife & I have been married for 37 years. I'll tell you that it takes an enormous amount the forbearance & foregiveness, plus (hopefully) open communication to keep a romantic relationship going over the long haul!
From what you wrote, it also sounds as though your bf has turned out to be quite different than you anticipated based on how he acted when the two of you first met.
I don't think that is necessarily all that unusual either. It may be that, when it comes right down to it, this is simply not a relationship that is sustainable over the long term. I don't know.
This is something you will have to figure out for yourself. This is the type of thing individuals sometimes seek counseling or therapy for.
PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here.
The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!
