I have thoughts like this when I've been doing well for a period of time. I wonder why I'm even taking meds because ppl with bp do not go as long as I have with no symptoms lol. This is really what I think in my head. Then I read over some of my old blog postings....post I made before I was on meds when symptoms were present. Then reality sets in. I have post I made when I was manic as hell. When I was mixed. They are just really out in left lane to say the least