pachyderm ... the problem with that is that I can't tell anyone the whole truth. My mom asked me if was depressed last night and I told her "no" and just smiled. Just before that I was mentally freaking out and also stratching my arms with a knife (straching, even hitting, is something that I have been doing as far back as I can remember. I knew I was forgetting something important in my original post but I put so much stuff in there. Blah.) I'm really trying but it's so hard to just sit there and tell someone "HELP ME!" The reason I've probably never been to the psych before is that even though I ask for help sometimes, I usually end up telling people to leave me alone or that it isn't that big of a deal. Who knows, I might have even left out the self harm thing on purpose without even knowing. Dang you self sabotage! I guess being truthful would be a very big issue I need to work on.. and something that could even be causing some of my stress. I think too much. But thank you for the advice. I'll keep working on it.

Clyde, it's very difficult, isn't it? I get so annoyed sometimes because I'm trying to do homework, go to sleep, or just relax but I can't ever turn it off. Thank you!