Quote:
Originally Posted by A18793715
I've gone to many one time, first meeting session just to never return. I end up extremely paranoid after each session and can't go back. There's two things I'm scared of. A t trapping me into the hospital or I'll end up attached to a t that just leaves and quits like my doctor did. She kinda was my t. We would have hour long sessions and we'd just talk and then she would give me my refill prescription if needed. I thought I would be okay alone. But I'm far from okay. But I can't do anything. I'm stuck screaming for help but can't do so myself.
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We all struggle with trust, especially in the beginning. I don't say that to minimize your feelings but so you know it's not uncommon. It's hard. Especially after losing a T or someone who was like a T to you. I had a similar experience.
Two things I would suggest are 1) print your wonderful post and take it with you when you decide to try again to find a T. It's really a great place to start, because it's where you are'. And 2) when my T asked if I could 'trust the process' vs trying to trust her, that was really helpful. I could do that. I could think about that between sessions and not panic, because it wasn't about her.
This last time, 10 hears ago, I committed to myself. I was going to keep going even if I didn't feel like it, even if I felt like quitting. It's been so worth it!
Good luck to you!