esthersvirtue, that is such a great question and one I haven't seen asked here before.

Here are a few ideas on how to be vulnerable with one's T:
--don't push your T away. When you say something revealing bout yourself and how you have been hurt or say something that indicates how much you care about your T, don't immediately recant it by trying to minimize it or make light of it. Just allow yourself to feel and sit with that and don't push the feeling away or deny it.
--do allow yourself to share your feelings with your T, even really painful ones, and not just have all your talk be on an intellectual level
--allow yourself to be close to your T and to grow closer
--share your hopes, fears, triumphs, and disappointments with your T
--be willing to dive beneath the surface and allow your T to accompany you on your journey
--trust your T to hold your pain and know how to help you heal

I hope some of that makes sense! I agree that it could be helpful to ask your T for ideas on how to be vulnerable. Take care.