The shame is so difficult to deal with. I'm struggling with major flash backs, having stopped shaking and crying for 5 days. I feel shame for just exsisting. I feel I deserved what happened to me and I was chosen for the violence and assault because I deserved it on some level. I know "logically" my thinking on this matter is very flawed, but "emotionally" the shame is strangling me. I feel shame because I'm not strong enough to get over it, and feel it's my lack of character and weakness to blame. And like I said, logically I know it wasn't my fault, but emotionally I just can't get it straight. I've never even been able to talk about the bad stuff in therapy....I feel too judged, too inferior. I feel the therapist will "turn" on me and blame me in some way. It's been SOOO many years, and yet I can't get over this or move forward. I can't trust anyone and feel I will be violated again any second. I lock myself in my house for years, just waiting to die.

I wouldn't judge your friend. We all experience pain and emotions uniquely. Some people survive a massive car crash and just feel lucky to be alive....another person in the same wreck might be forever changed and not even be able to look at or hear a car without having a massive attack. It's all very individual. Suffering people don't need to be judged, they need love. Your friend is suffering in some way by the sounds of it.....i definately feel it best to offer compassion rather than criticism. Remember, it's not a compitition. Hugs to you.