Hmmmm. Are you Bipolar perchance. Wanting to spend money is pretty classic; especially on stuff we don't neccesarily require. I'm sure other illnesses can lead to this too. Koodos though for sticking to your guns. But, do you think if you did have cheques with you that you would have purchased them? Perhaps then making it a habit of keeping them at home might be a way of curtailing doing so.

I have the urge to spend money all the time (and yes I'm Bipolar). At least I don't have any to spend right now. But spending is what I do when I have it.

I feel guilty when I spend it
I feel like poop when I don't. It's like a withdrawl from an addiction I suppose.