Hello Sula B: I'm sorry you have reached this point of exasperation. I can't claim to have always done as you have done (to be a good person, agreeable, compassionate, & supportive.) But there have been times in my life when did try to do so in certain situations. And I always ended up feeling much the way you are feeling at the moment. After a while, I just decided it wasn't worth the bother. Now I just keep to myself.

The only thing I will take issue with, regarding your post, is that I would like to suggest you can still hold your head up. There's no requirement that a person be a certain way in order to feel good about themselves. You can have respect for yourself however you are. I know it can be difficult to get out from under the paradigms we were inculcated with growing up. But ultimately, as adults, we get to choose our own paths based on our personal experiences in life. The way I look at it is that, as long as I'm not intentionally harming others & I stay out of their way, that is all that's required. To my way of thinking if everyone just strived to not intentionally harm others, & stayed out of each other's way, the world would be a better place.