
Oct 06, 2016, 01:32 PM
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Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 279
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butterfly24
He was initially interested enough to want to get to know you. He has decided he doesn't want to pursue this. He has no intention of going out with you this weekend.
People here have been really, really clear on why that would be. In another thread, you said you have no friends, no life, and you're going to yell at people until you get the answers you want.
But the answer you seem to want is that what you're doing is quite normal and if you just change up your bangs or glasses everything will be fine, and that this guy IS going to go out with you this weekend if you just text him often enough.
This answer would be a lie, and a year, three years, ten years down the road, you'll still be here asking the same questions.
So if you just want the answer you want, here it is:
Trim your bangs an sixteenth of an inch and wear the black leather jacket someone else suggested and text him another 20 times. Assume his lack of an answer is because of some unknown cause but that he's really interested in you. In order to help him out, use a search engine to track down his home and show up on his doorstep Friday night. Then everything will be fine.
But what all of us want, deep down, is to find happiness. If you want the answer to that, here it is.
Get counseling or if you can't afford that, go to a support group.
Start driving--short trips to a local fast food or grocery store, anything.
Get a job. Consider starting with a temp agency, short term jobs.
Try some daily affirmations.
Get out from under your parents' thumbs if they're really keeping you so infantilized.
GET a life. I DO NOT mean this in a cruel way, but in all seriousness--create a life that you are happy with: Take your music interest and start a blog with those thousand interviews you said you've done. Monetize the blog. Start promoting your blog. If you want to do this, send me a PM. I will GLADLY show you how to promote your work and start an income. I have experience in this area and will gladly help you.
Take a class or go to the gym or start any new hobby--you will be happier in and of yourself and you will then have more to offer these men. You will also be too busy to be texting and calling them all day, and that WILL make you more appealing to them.
Here are a couple of HUGE ones:
Start a gratitude list. Ten things every day.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: HELP SOMEONE ELSE:
Go online and see if you can offer words of hope or encouragement to someone who is struggling.
Walk an elderly neighbor's dog or water her garden
Take food to a food shelf
Volunteer at a local animal shelter or church or food shelf
Be friendly and give a genuine smile and well-wishes to a cashier or anyone you meet.
Organize a meal service for someone who's just had a baby or is sick
Clean a house for someone whose child is in the hospital.
You love music--do you play music? Can you teach music to a disadvantaged child?
AND PLEASE:
Realize that 'I'm only mean to all of you here because you don't say what I want to hear, I'm nice to MEN, HA!' is a character trait that WILL shine through to these men you meet. People who are kind...are kind. People who are mean to some people whenever they get angry...will eventually be mean to anyone who doesn't do and say what they want. These men are no doubt seeing that, and hearing it in these hours of conversations.
Character traits are about how we treat all people, all the time, over time; not some people, sometimes, when we're happy with them.
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Fine. I will work on myself PERIOD.
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