I knew I was coming out of depression when I got a twinge of being interested in one of my hobbies. Just a small spark. It was so beautiful. I don't know if it is something you can force yourself to do but maybe you could try.

What are things that used to give you pleasure? For me it is drawing. I looked at some websites and some of my favorite artists and it really brought me a bit of respite from the blanket of fear I had.

Depression has so many facets. I'm not sure how much if any we can control. I know I try hard to battle it when I see the signs. Lifting yourself up out of the hole is so difficult. I do know that being here has been everything. At least I have a home where people understand me and I can be myself.

I hope you get some relief very soon!