Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
This post seems extremely well-written and describes an experience in life that I simply do not have. And have not gained. Perhaps you can see, Lola, from the other side, what it might take for someone to help lead another person into secure attachments. But then I wonder -- perhaps it needs a therapist who has secure attachments? I know my last therapist said that she had an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, as she thought I did.
So, OK then, if the therapy for attachments disorders is not bogus, what are the statistics on success/failure and length of time in treatment? Seems like that's something clients need for realistic decision-making going into it?
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My husband has severe attachment problems and has finally seemed to find a place of healing. He also saw my therapist, and I think what our therapist did was to show us together how to help my husband find and trust and accept secure attachment in his relationship with me and with my family.
I think that was one of the advantages in us both seeing the same therapist. Rather than the whole attachment resolution being tied to the therapist, the therapist worked with us together to help my husband reach that place in his real-world relationship with me. And we did need that help. We had been married some 20 years before we started seeing our therapist, and our relationship had been plagued with issues often tied to my husband's difficulty in trusting and his fear of abandonment. We DID need the help of a therapist, and fortunately, we had that help.
My husband has really been able to move beyond those fears now and is so much more peaceful and content than he has ever been before. So I know the power of a good therapist to help a person move from serious attachment problems to a place of autonomy and secure attachments, but it was accomplished in the context of our real-world relationship with the guidance and direction of a very competent therapist.