Its the relationship with t over time that changes us. I told my t today, that i probably look pretty much the same as i did when i started with him (only ten years older argggh!), but INSIDE ive transformed from blackberry jam to lemon curd. From dark, clumpy, and seedy to light, slick, and tart? Idk! From undefined questionable contents to relatively clear and smooth. How? Stirring the pot and straining out the lumps.