You are absolutely right. I, too, had to become 'strong' as a child and tried to convince myself of everything myself.. It was only when I started therapy in my early twenties that I realised we need people to act as our mirrors.. Especially while growing up. That's the foundation of a healthy self-esteem, provided that our mirrors are not broken..

It's also completely true that children have a tendency to blame themselves. I blamed myself for my dad not loving me. I felt responsible for my mum being miserable. I think it's not safe for kids to admit their parents are less than perfect, or maybe they don't even have the mental capacity to understand that even though their parent is acting crazy, it's not their fault, it's because the parent has his/her own problems..

Actually, kids would need someone else, an adult, to recognise that, too, and explain it to them!

Indeed, imagine how much easier life would have been and would be if we'd had parents who were able to do more..! Luckily, we can heal our wounds now, provided we find the courage to show our true selves, little by little, to people who are able to recognise our worth and talents and give us feedback on these things..