Yeah, completely scatterbrained. Can't concentrate; I'll reach the end of a paragraph and forgotten the first sentence and must re-read it (and still not get it sometimes).

I try to remind myself that "no man is an island." The central premise of It's A Wonderful Life. Schmaltzy though the movie may be, it's nonetheless true that our mere existence has ripple effects which affect not only our kin, but even society at large in ways we can never know. That if we were to subtract ourselves from the world of the living, that too would cause vast ripple effects, but in the negative direction.

And so, while merely hanging on by my fingernails feels in the moment like I'm doing nothing but taking up oxygen and other resources that could be put to better use by others, the truth is that merely hanging on has a purpose in itself, and a very important one - namely, it minimizes the total amount of suffering in the world. It also keeps me from foreclosing on the possibility that I might someday improve and actually feel productive once again. Doesn't seem bloody likely to me right now, but evidence shows there's a fair probability of that happening.

Or so my frontal lobe reminds me. When it gets bad the rest of my brain scoffs at mere reason. Anyway, I don't know precisely what you're feeling, but I'm very familiar with the feeling of purposelessness. I suspect the same is true of most of us here. All I can offer in the end is