Last few years....since 2012 I started being very symptomatic in the winter. By Halloween my depression has set in. I would stay in the house and just sleep, I would cry a lot and think about the past. It took me a real long time to accept the fact that I have a MI. Then I could not get over "why me" ...."what did I do to deserve this punishment". These are really my non-stop thoughts during depression. I always go back to the past. My life before I was sick. Last winter it got so bad I stopped taking showers. Right now I'm starting to feel down again. I use to write a few times a week and I have not in about two weeks. I stayed in weekend before last. Last weekend my youngest daughter really wanted to go a few places. I took her to Starbucks and right back home. This whole week I've been sleeping about 7-8 hours at night. Then wake up at 5:45 am take my youngest daughter to school and go home. Then sleep 3 hours walk my puppy. Then sleep another 2 hours and forty minutes. I am so sleepy I do not eat. I just sleep. I wake up in time to go get my oldest daughter something for lunch. It's just hard because I have a 10 yr old with lots of energy and if I'm depressed it's hard on her. Not sure if I should gamble...