I'm not quite sure how to explain this but I will give it my best shot.

About two months ago my Pdoc increased my meds and it seems to be working. Compared to how I felt earlier in the year I feel much much better. The issue is, nothing in my life has really changed. My core issues which I am working on with my T are still very much a work in progress. I guess I kind of feel as though this "happiness" or I just lack of depression is artificial. I don't feel like myself. It is as though my depression had become part of my identity and I've lost part of who I am.

The other thing is, I can't seem to cry. I've never cried in front of my T and I want to get to a point where I feel comfortable enough to do that but now even when talking about something upsetting I can't seem to really feel it let alone cry. I don't like this feeling at all but I also don't want to feel as bad as I was before. Somewhere in between would be nice. I don't feel completely emotionally blunted; I think I can feel other emotions just not sadness.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about here? If you do, what did you do about it? I don't see my Pdoc until mid November so I'm not sure if I should contact her earlier to sort this out.