I could tell my last T that I disagreed with her but it didn't seem to get me anywhere either.

What I could not tell her was that I was not feeling understood -- that seemed like an accusation -- or that I was feeling angry or enraged -- they were still somewhat dissociated. Instead, I acted on my frustration at not feeling understood, and kept trying different ways to explain things so that she COULD understand. And then exploded in rage several times, the last one when I told her that my "Antisocial" and "Female Snotty" parts were in the room -- I could have "turned them off" and been socially polite but that isn't/wasn't the point of my coming to therapy and paying her a bunch of money. I did have the DDNOS and PDNOS diagnoses which she had assessed and I actually felt they fit, so we didn't have any disagreement there.

So I can definitely be aggressive but also shut-down goody-two-shoes compliant. Not really assertive on a personal, emotional level (can be assertive in business) I guess because I was fragmented and not whole, makes it hard to stand up for oneself when one doesn't know fully who/what that is and can collapse in pieces.

HOWEVER -- I came home, worked it out with myself, and I did stand up for my "Female Snotty" part the next session after the last time my T shamed me/her for it. That has probably started a healing process that I may be in now. But I'm not going to credit my T for that! Nor do I think she would either, not that that matters a lot.

Some of her lack of understanding may have been that we are temperamentally different. I like the Myers-Briggs model, others may prefer something else. But in that model I am oriented toward Thinking more than Feeling, and I strongly believe that most therapists are Feeling types and that the profession as a whole is oriented that way culturally. Very tough when you just don't fit in with that, has nothing to do with PD's though the therapist might think so.

Then of course there were my T's own issues that she may not have known about until I triggered them, but still . . .