You're correct about INTJ women, we're a very rare breed.
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How do you feel about that? Do you want to be understood or is it irrelevant to you?
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All I want as far as understanding goes is that
I am a human being just like everybody else. That is the only understanding I could ever possibly want.
I have the same basic needs, desires, pleasures, pains, fears, etc of any human being. I'm not somehow "other" because of any label that may apply to me. The fact is that I see myself as having just as many commonalities with other human beings as I do differences. That's how I see not just myself but everyone.
I despise the "us and them" mentality and I hate that it's human nature to compare and categorize all the time. We all do it to each other and it has no positive benefit to society at large.
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Some of it may be that I felt excluded, possibly some because my temperament was so different from the other women in my family of origin, and I loved them and wanted to "belong". Even though belonging isn't high on the priorities for an INTJ it was/is still there.
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I've lived my entire life being excluded and not being seen as an equal(I've lived a rough life, trust me when I say this all had very ugly results). I don't want belonging for emotional reasons, I want belonging for the principle of it. I want that again not just for me, but for everyone.
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Another is probably a need for "mirroring", an early need in the development of a (healthy) sense of self that I'm still struggling with. Why still struggling? I'll think about that one some, too. Not really sure.
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I was wondering if you had some sort of problem related to mirroring in the developmental sense of the word because some of the things you post and how you post them seem to allude to those sorts of issues.
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It's interesting, I think, that despite the same unusual Myers-Briggs type that you and I developed such different PD characteristics. Any thoughts about that?
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I don't mean any insult here, but I think part of it is a generation gap, in other words I see it as partly a societal issue in some respects. I'm about to turn 30, and I know that you're... well, significantly older than 30! I don't mean to play into stereotypes here but hell, stereotypes exist for a reason... back when you were growing up, OCPD traits and the other "inverted" PD traits were encouraged in a lot of respects in the female population especially. People my age and younger? We're all called "generation me" for a reason, we are force fed messages every day that encourage more blatant forms of narcissism.
Another part of it is simple, we are two different people. It's really that simple.