Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya
I noticed from other forums where people post relationship concerns... Most posts about conflict or disagreement with another person tend to make the other person sound way worse than they actually are. (I think sometimes they'll make the person sound less bad, but that's less common.) It's not even that the poster is exaggerating or having a needlessly bad interpretation of the events they're describing. I guess it's just because we're getting information about just one small portion of this person's behavior. It seems weird to think that most nice well-adjusted non-harmful people would be verbally or emotionally abusive occasionally, but it seems to be true!
It took me a while to notice this phenomenon about forum posts, so I can understand why other posters so often advise dumping the person the OP is having a conflict with. To them, the other person sounds legitimately horrible.
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Which is why I typically try to get a more objective response out of the OP. I never assume everything is entirely accurate but assume it is from the perspective of the one that may be acting as a victim. NOt that they don't feel like they are, they probably do, but without any other input about a situation you have to assume that there is something missing from the equation.