My abusers want to visit me and it caused me a severe distress which broke my mental stability and I notice it by the giant cloud I have inside my head and entities getting stronger. They want to cut my vains to drain the poison from it so I will be cured from everything. I went to ER and tried to explain pdocs what's happening because the distress could lead to a delusional break about a second civil war and paranoia but they just talked me about anticipatory anxiety and wanted to give me klonopil even if I am stopping it because it's causing me more troubles than being helpful. I told them I wanted something else because the meds they wanted to give me were something I have already tried and went wrong but they refused.


So I am left alone, at least entities even if evil and bad make me some company. I don't care they want me to hurt myself, they are nicer than the psychiatrist who didn't understand at all the magnitude of the trauma and distress, not really much anxiety but more like mental pressure and difficult thinking because of noises.


I hate looking smart and more or less coherent, I think they are dismissive because of that. I want to cut veins in my forearm to thank entities company and care because they are being much more understanding that psychiatrist, maybe they will become less evil if I do something for them because they are trying hard at doing something for me. I am dissmisive with entities as most of psychiatrist are dismissive towards me. I need a really a short but deep cut to reach a vein a solve it all, I need to plan it better to get a vein.

I know it doesn't sound good, but I need to do it to thank them