I had that trouble too esthersvirtue. The answer for me was in telling her things and saying things when I wasn't sure what her response would be. Instead of "deciding"/making plans in advance, to just go along and not know what will happen, learning that I could depend on (her) those around me to help with whatever situation came up, I could ask questions and they'd answer, etc. I could "not know" and it wouldn't destroy me.

I had a big breakthrough when I was going to be late to a session and I'm fretting and worrying, etc. as I'm driving there and then I called her to tell her I might be late (and then everyone would know and I wouldn't have to worry about it) and I hadn't realized that that would "help" her too, that she might be wondering where I was and if I was okay/coming, etc. if I were to be late without telling her.