I did six years of therapy with this ex T who has just ended with me. He was my attachment figure. We talked about that a lot. I related to him as though he were a kind dad to my younger fragile parts. That is why the abrupt sudden termination with no communication or explanation from him is so painful for me. I am like a young child whose main attachment figure has just buggered off.
I do think it is important to learn to attach successfully from the broken parts of the self that were young and did not have safe attachments. It is scary work and it is delicate work and it requires a lot of love. He gave me a lot of love. I trusted him. He might yet pull through for me. I sometimes really believe that he will because of how he was with me.
But I have found the ability to be the hidden me in my sessions, to be invaluable. He 'met' the parts of me that were so frightened and young and vulnerable and taught her that she was okay and she had feelings that made sense once you know my history.
It was good work. I am just hoping I don't lose all of it because of this truly crap surreal and utterly unexpected sudden impersonal termination. Massive rupture and shock for me. that is the down side of attachment work, when the therapist bails out suddenly taking half your heart and most of your dopamine levels with them.