I need some advice. I am the youngest of 3 children and am 53. For as long as I remember I have been the "make-nice" problem-solver in my family. It has come back to bite me many times.

My mom is the type who never wants to get her hands dirty or do unpleasant things. From doing her taxes, helping her around her house (she's 85) or being alone with my dad when he passed away (she couldn't do it); I feel I have stepped in many times to help her out. From cleaning out the family home to being in charge of my dad's care-taking as he went through Alzheimer's. Things she "couldn't face".

I am always trying to get her approval. This is something I have worked on but I can't seem to stop.

Last month she wanted my help because she had given her other grandchildren more money than is legally ok until you are taxed. She is pretty wealthy. I got absolutely furious that she had the nerve to ask me to help her. She doesn't give my kids money and wants my help figuring out what to to because she double-gifted her other grandkids? My feelings were very hurt, I felt used and just shocked I guess.

She basically reminded me that I have always told her she can do whatever she wants with her money. I do know this is true but I just felt so used! My sister lives out of town and my brother doesn't have a great relationship with my mom so my husband and I step in quite often.

Anyway, It's a long story but after she sent me a rude email, I had had it. I have never done this but I called her and just blessed her out. No name calling but I was extremely angry with her about this as well as other things.

She was NOT happy with me and has quit communicating via email with me. (She never calls). I wanted to repair things so I called her and had a chatty conversation. Then I asked if she would like to see a show with me as her Christmas gift.

She emailed me last night and said she has been advised to "disengage" with me until the holidays. I have so many emotions about this. My feelings are hurt. I know she is a cold person so why do I keep trying with her? What is my problem? She was an alcoholic mother to me and unavailable so I keep trying to get her to "notice" me. I'm 53 for God's sake, you would think I would get it.

Thank you for reading this incredibly long vent. I had to get this out and get some advice and support. I feel so mixed up. Btw, I am not planning on replying to her email.