I'm sure we've all heard this tune before, living in an abusive relationship and to scared to leave. I've always perceived this behavior as weak when I saw my mother do it, but now that I live this way I understand that all my energy is spent tip toeing on cracking ice.

I used to post on the occasional awful events happening in my home with my husband. Mostly the abuse was verbal in these days. The warnings of progressed and worsened abuse for surely happened. Now I am bruised and criticize to the point where I wonder if it's worth living at all.

Before he would tell me all my thoughts and acts were wrong....always always wrong, and nothing I did ever improved. Now I'm worthless, fat, compulsive, out of control, trashy, and stupid....also lazy.

Before he'd squeeze my arms and occasionally sock my legs leaving hidden bruises on my body. Now he squeezes my neck and intimidates me with balled fists and bulging eyes. He's even come to the point where he will abuse me in front of my two toddlers, it's become almost daily.

I'm aware of what you'll say. I'm also aware that I am destroying my children by staying here, that I can get control and run away. I live in fear....even the fear to run.

*shrugs*....I contemplate an escape all the time, but there's no where to go...I am a full time college student and fear I'll have to drop out of college if I leave him. I will have no help. If anything, tolerating his piece of %#@&#! *** till I get my degree is slowly but surely running away. But for the first time ever in this relationship I realized he is capable of killing me.

What would you do if you were me?