She is arrogant and can be manipulative. She feels that she can do a better job at running my life and how I raise my child. I let this pass for years not thinking much about it but I have my fill of it now. She likes others to see her being very generous with me and I would not be able to handle my mother without her. Arrogant and naive. Furthermore, I pay her good money to help me by babysitting my mother for me. She does not tell anyone about that. This is my first step not letting her not walk all over me. I had psychologically developed a dependant relationship with her which helped me not feel alone. That is all. A place to escape to during those really bad days. She took advantage of this.

I am also considering lowering what I pay her. Rarely do I use her for a couple hours a week, but I pay her $100 a week for her "help". When I was in a bad position years ago, she got me to pay her $200 a week and think nothing of the burden this was on me. I am thinking of using the same amount of money to bring someone in for one to two days a week, three hours a day for attendant care. This means bathing her and changing her diapers, not just babysitting. Then I will no longer have problems with bed bugs which infest her house. This is another thing I have had to contend with.

Tucson