Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I'm not sure if my T and I had ruptures or merely disagreements. The only one that qualifies, maybe, as a rupture, is when she stopped holding my hand because she thought it was becoming sexual for me. She hurt my feelings very badly when she said she could see it, and feel it in the room. She said, " You need to get that from your husband and you don't, do you?"
I couldn't convince her that holding her hand never felt sexual so she took it away from me for about a year. I kept trying to tell her. Finally I think she believed me, but it wasn't until she finished her EMDR training that she decided that it was okay for me to hold her hand again. She admitted that it may have been "her stuff", to do with her divorce. Now she will hold my hand whenever I ask, which isn't often. Though she was wrong about holding my hand, there was validity in that I looked to her to meet some of the needs I didn't get met by my husband. We agree on that, so I suppose the rupture got resolved, but it took a long time.
|
You have a forgiving nature rainbow becAuse if this had happened to me I would be very reluctant to forgive or go back to her but that's my own stuff.
I am glad she admitted that for her holding your hand felt sexual because I am betting the feelings were all coming from her. People forget that therapists have sexual feelings too and it's so blooming easy to blame the client.
I wouldn't hold a clients hand because I know I would get confused with my own feelings. I only hold hands with my partners and if I brought that into the room it would feel sexual. That was a long time for you to keep trying to convince her, I would have been out the door long before that. I remember one of my tutors offering to hold my hand when I was struggling in class one day and I refused, she got highly offended but I didn't feel the need to explain to her why but that was more about her need to soothe me when I have my own ways of soothing.