Your not selfish. You are trying to figure this out like the rest of us and the only way to get help is to ask. That does not make you selfish. But DID is also a difficult condition to help someone with. Even my t (who has many DID patients) doesn't really know what to do with me. I forget things we discussed from the previous session unless promoted by something. I can have a part at session promise to work on consciousness with particular parts, than by the time I get home I'm not the one who talked with t so very often I don't remember promising anything. I may remember it hours or days later but sometimes not. So people are willing to help you they just maybe don't know how.