I wish I could offer some advice but I don't have any answers, just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling this. I feel this way too having tried for years and years in therapy. Sometimes I think there have been improvements but I generally have all the exact same issues I had 10 years ago. It is hard. I don't know, maybe one day something will click or the right person or right therapy or right medication will work. We just have to keep trying. Hugs to you