I've fell down that hole and climbed out so many times. Though I stayed down in there longer each time, and didn't climb as high or for as long when i did climb. I've been in the hole for years this time. I totally get the urge to throw it all away. It's an illusion sometimes though, it just seems like all your problems go away for awhile. The struggle at the bottom is very raw, and real in a way that has to be dealt with, like having food to eat, and a place to sleep where you don't freeze or have no privacy at all. Sometimes surviving is the only thing we know how to do, and higher class problems just have no significance to us.