Taking the history you've described, and not wanting to freak you out further, or cause undue fear, it sounds intelligent and perceptive to recognize and caution yourself over false understanding.

I have this simple advice. For me, what I do, is, create within your center the purest idea of love and kindness you are capable. See to it that this love and kindness contains no selfish or egotistical motives. Inquire of this feeling what it's true aim is. If it is able to answer you that it has at its center the intention of good health and no harm to yourself or others, that can be a beginning place for that seed of understanding to grow. A continuous monitoring of that spirits motives, checked against your own most altruistic beliefs helps to keep that spirit in its purest form.