Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
I guess I don't get why more did people don't have did friends. I don't mean that we go up to any old people and say hi I'm an alter. we only say about ourselves with people who know we have did like our t and our did friends and even then we don't actually do that! nobody else ever, with other people we pretend we are 'normal'. but I just don't get why more people don't be known to other safe people. like me, I've been around since forever and deal with heaps and heaps of things, like most things in life we do I do in some way too. so I am every bit as real as any other adult one or host. and I just don't see anything wrong with me being out and doing stuff or being known as me with my did friends. why would I pretend to be the adult ones?? That doesn't make any sense. I am glad I have friends who know me as me and like me for me too. and I am glad I know other did peoples and get to know some of their bigs and littles and that we can share stuff with each other and not feel so weird and alone.
yeah and I want to say that alters aren't less than the host or less than important they are really important, like I myself do heaps of life stuff and the big ones are not more important than me or have the right to be any more than me cause we are all part of ONE person and there is no part of this person that is not important, every part belongs here.
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Im making a guess that its because having mental illness is a private matter. here in america we even have privacy laws to protect people who do not want just anyone to know they have a mental or physical health problem.
its like people dont walk up to their friends and say hey I have depression or hey I have bipolar disorder, or hey I had a hallucination last night probably because I have schizophrenia. here in the USA most people become friends with people based on their common grounds yes but the common grounds are things like sharing the same tastes in music, or hobby someone who is in the same educational class. most people here in the USA who do meet up with people who have a mental illness its usually because they are in the same therapy or support group. then in this kind of thing there are confidentiality rules that you cant discuss what happens in the groups, once you are outside the groups. so for example if I am in a therapy group about a mental illness, what I know or hear about or talk about and everything others have said in the group is off limits. which means even if I would form a friendship with someone under this situation the two friends would not be able to discuss that mental illness issues with each other. it would be a breach of confidentiality to discuss what went on or what we know of each other from being in the same group together.
to most people that I know, in my location mental illness is a private matter, that most people keep to their self and their treatment providers.
I think of it this way I want my friendships to be based on friendship stuff not built on having the same mental illness together. example what if I purposely set out to have a friendship with someone who had DID then one of us (me) integrated\became one whole person again. that friendship isnt going to last because the foundation of both having DID is gone.
Im not saying I dont have friends who have DID because I do. we just dont make DID the focus point for our friendship. our friendships are where each person is responsible for their own mental disorder and we focus our time regular friendship stuff, what each friends hobbies, likes, dislikes, music and other things that normal friendships are about. our respective dissociative problems do not usually enter into our conversations,