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Originally Posted by monalisasmile
I would feel ashamed too Rainbow as would most of us. I would feel shamed for having feelings towards her even though they were not you're feelings in this case. I would also feel ashamed on how she approached and addressed these feelings and put the blame on you further by saying she was meeting needs that your husband couldn't meet. That is a wild accusation. I would not be happy at all with that. There could have been a discussion about feelings around holding hands and what that means to you both before it was introduced. Then you're t would have known that it was a yearning from a very young part to be close to her.
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In defense of my T, she and I knew that it was a child part who wanted to hold her hand, right from the start. There was no problem with it for a long time because she knew that. But we also knew there was a part who was "in love with her", or more likely it was a combination of a crush and erotic transference. So, maybe that's what she meant when she said I was "crossing over." It was all in that one session. I can see why she thought it. It was a confusing session and I was self-conscious about holding her hand. She probably misinterpreted that.
I don't know why I didn't see this as a rupture. I felt disappointed because next to emailing, holding T's hand was the best thing about therapy! I liked being with her no matter what. I still do. The power of the connection and attachment kept me going. Every so often I would tell T " it wasn't sexual" and asked if she believed me. She said she did so I wasn't upset. She also wanted to know what would be so awful if I were bisexual. We talked about that too. I think it's my T's willingness to talk about our relationship as much as I need to that has helped me the most. Sorry if this is a little off topic.