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Oct 10, 2016, 08:36 AM
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
Posts: 2,626
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As ever gaining strength and using it against myself.
I absolutely hate stability.
At least anxiety and depression you can fight and win. Nothing is worse than being immobilised by an invisible, completely irrational force. No delusional thoughts you can and eventually will falsify. Just being completely and utterly stuck. I can't even hurt myself (more). It's far worse than pain. Just surviving and hoping this complete nothingness will end.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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