I think it is about "experiencing" and sitting with your feelings (which I know you know about). You can't have known you'd feel this way before you "tried" it/leveled with your daughter. You couldn't/can't get free until you know and experience your bondage?

I would try to remember too that it is the fear of abandonment that you are afraid of, not the actual experience (which you haven't had from your daughter yet and may not get; can't tell). You lived through the abandonment of your mother and are "fixing" that in therapy and now you probably have a good 2-6 years to get over your fear. . . of abandonment by your children and be in a better position to cope with what actually does happen.