I have all these great things going on and great things coming up. I have this big deadline.
But I feel immobile. I feel so anxious inside about everything. I should be in my studio working. Instead I'm frozen. I want to run away. I feel so anxious inside, but taking something for that takes motivation away.
Am I doing this to myself to procrastinate on what I need to be doing?
This isn't new. I get through it. I just feel too stuck to do anything. and I feel alone.
But being alone is what I need to get my work done.
The funny thing is I've been so busy up to this point and all the time I've been busy I'm thinking in the back of my head I need to get into my studio. This is a perfect day. It's beautiful outside and I have time to do what I need to do. Instead I'm frozen and procrastinating and getting nothing done.
Every minute going by doing nothing is adding to this anxiety.
Is this normal procrastination? Or is it part of being bipolar? I'm so tired of fighting this battle with myself.
Thank you for reading this mess.