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toffeellen said:
YEah I mentioned it to him. Asked him why he hadnt said anything....
Later on, this was one of the questions he viewed as challenging him.
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That's very interesting, toffeellen. Maybe it was the way the question was phrased that was challenging, because it certainly doesn't seem like a hard question to answer. It sounds like you asked, "why didn't you say anything about my being early last time?" I wonder if that type of question can make a person feel like they did something wrong by not mentioning it? I know we all have different communication styles--my question probably would have been, "hey, did you know I showed up a half hour early last time?" And I'd probably smile when I said it, as if to say, can you believe I forgot my appointment time? and not put him on the defensive. There are situations where I am more direct, but I've found that for myself, too much directness can be viewed as threatening by some, so I try to moderate my communication patterns to help with that. (I can be kind of an intimidating person, so I need help from my language on that.)
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