if you didn't have a trickle of hope that the drs are trying to help you, you wouldn't be here asking us if what the drs say is true or not. I think there is a part of you that knows the drs are right. it might be hidden away, but you wouldn't be here if you didn't think you were ill. I hope you start taking your drs advice soon, I think things will start to turn around for you if you're compliant with your treatment program. they may not seem like much of a help at times but that's what the drs are there for, to try to help you. I promise they're not shoveling poison at you. take your meds .