Quote:
Originally Posted by Gentle Lamb
Well here I am trapped by an invisible monster called Agoraphobia and ADHD (which has rendered me a DEPENDENT PERSONALITY), a HATE this trapped mindset and the feelings of utter hopelessness that it is causing me!!! I have been CRYING OUT about this for so... long that it makes me sick, sick of me! Sick of who I am , of WHAT I am. I cannot see my way OUT, death seems like the only option and boy have I been wanting to die for the last few years!
I am married to a very narcissistic man, who is very domineering, controlling, and rages at me, intimidates me into backing off and away. I have grown to despise this man, but I cannot get free of him!!! I have never supported myself and now I am too sick to work, hows that for a fine howdy do you do!?
I hate who and what I am, I see myself as extremely defective and stupid. I am 64yrs what a wasted life.
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--response: a therapist, a doc, a support group will help. you can get disability payments and a roommate that will be nice to you to help you and share expenses. One thing at a time. do anything that makes you feel empowered every day-wash the floor, anything. Read about your disorder and people that have it (city libraries have free digital books online). I like wikipedia online. When i had a rare eye disorder, i found the head of the so cal chapter and he told me the top doctor in the world was at usc and he fixed it! Support groups and associations are amazing.
I am 68 and bipolar.had to move to az. No friends here yet. No job. I had to relocate us. My dlsorder flared up badly. My husband baits me when i want him to do something. I Did my son a big favor and now,he,tells my husband to stop that. Yay!
We are all with you!