Greetings. I have gone through this same thought several times before diagnosed with autism, and now I know why, but still feel the exact same. I see all these people around me and never understand how people are social. How is everyone able to focus on so many things at once to see how someone is feeling? It gets too complicated. But then I realize that though I don't have the greatest social skills, I am good at other things and people out there support me when I need to. There has been so many times lately where I look in the mirror and I don't think it's me because because of how socially awkward I am. But I'm there, and keep going until I know I'll find someone or get friends. I don't have anyone with autism in my family, but my soon-to-be stepbrother has it, but it's more noticeable so my dad believes I don't have it and ignores the issue.

Autism is life long sadly, but you can work around it. I try to accommodate the best I can, but people I ask to help me tend to forget, and I just have to keep reminding them. Sorry, I'm really bad at this stuff. Im working on it [emoji3]. Hopefully there is some useful stuff in here [emoji3]