How much longer can you ever hold on to this? Eventually, you have to let go of it someday.

Why not attempt to move on from this, starting from today.
If today's unsuccessful, tomorrow.
If tomorrow's unsuccessful, the day after.

Things in the world is ever-changing, you have to acknowledge this fact. You will definitely come to term with it and naturally move on to be happier person.

It has been 2 month since my last r/s, I haven't completely forgiven myself about it because my rational thoughts and my emotions are constantly clashing with each other.

But each day will be worth pulling through, by making attempts to come to term with it.