Mental illness damages identity. After years of contradictory bipolar phases, symptoms, medications, side effects, fleeting successes, failures, losses and setbacks, you may have lost sight of who you are. I have come to the point where I have no idea who I "really am". The silver lining is that you may eventually come to understand that identity can be fluid, rather than static, and you may come to cope with that in yourself. Or you may learn not to care, and that might be okay, too.