I'm confused by her answer, period. How does one "tolerate" not answering yes or no when one has chosen to do so oneself? Toleration is for things other people do. Also her energy statement reads that she's feeling the energy from you, not the other way around.

I guess I'd say, she did choose the harder, more "instructive" path, and also that is the kind of question people react badly to (me being one of them) - like they think the person should know that already.

Still, I would at least have said "hope the surgery goes well, looking forward to seeing you again when you're back on your feet."

If I were you, I'd be tempted to write back and say, "No, seriously. Will you miss me?"