No, I don't see a therapist. I didn't have this problem for years; but it's popping back up now that I'm really in love with someone. I've been reading a ton and am starting to figure out this goes back to my childhood. My mother was never around and I was often raised by a nanny or simply left at the park or summer camp or some other place. Add to that that 2 of 3 long term relationships / marriage ended because of cheating and I've built a bit of complex in my own head, I'm realizing. I'm not a complainer though, I'm doer, evidenced by the fact I'm seeking opinions from others. I'm not sitting aside and making excuses because I do know this is something I've created on my own. I think everyone feels insecure at times for some reason or another and the more I read, the more I understand relationships heightens these insecurities in all of us. I'm fortunate in that I have a woman who loves me and who I love dearly and we can communicate about the things we're battling; because in my opinion, that's how relationships work. You have each others backs. You help each other through difficulties; because it makes the relationship stronger. We've talked about a lot of things the last 24 hours and some things that were unclear to me when we're out are now clear. For example, I was under the impression she wanted no PDA, no touching and for us just to do our own thing when we're out; which was completely opposite of how we started. I was wrong and she explained that she does want those things; just not in specific scenarios where she doesn't want to make her third wheel feel uncomfortable. Which I agree with. Case closed there. And I'm also learning that the reasons I feel this way when we're out is because I'm making an association that the person closest to me will always pull away and leave (based on things I've experienced in my past), which in turn makes me clingy and therefore rigid, angry and I lash out. This has nothing to do with the person I love. It's not their fault as you have stated. I know this, even in those moments. And part of the frustration is knowing that this is a self inflicted thing and yet I can't just turn it off sometimes. I just have to keep putting myself in these situations until I can come to understand with myself that it's ok. She loves you. She brought you to be with the people she considers friends. Calm down and enjoy the ride. OH and I failed to mention before that I have an anxiety disorder. I get panicky in specific situations. Closed spaces mostly. I'm thinking this may have something to do with it as well, as when we're in a tight club, I'm very restless.

I asked her for the immediate time being, when we go out, can we make a deal to leave by midnight. Just for 1-2 times to see how I feel. If it makes a difference. I'm thinking by knowing I'm only in the situation for a limited time it may help. This is how I overcame my fear of flying because of being confined in a closed space. Short flights multiple times until I was comfortable again. And at midnight, if I'm feeling fine, I can just tell her I'm ok, we're having a good time, lets stay a bit longer. Maybe it's a control thing. Idk. But I feel like it's a fair compromise for the moment. It helps me work on me, which in turn makes our relationship better and lets her get what she wants which is time with her friends with her boyfriend accompanying her. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.