So I'm sitting in Starbucks today and I see this perfect couple come in with their little girl and I just feel so sad. They're dressed to the nines, their little girl is all dolled up, and I feel sad as hell.

I divorced my husband when my daughter was 4.5 years old. I was sick of the charade. It was me who suggested we get married, get rings. All he wanted to do is have a child and he keeps trying to get back together even though it's been 11 years.

He's diagnosed bipolar, as well has sociopathic traits , and is a substance abuser/alcoholic . I was the leader yet he wanted to display he dominated me, which was false. It was misery. Im not willing to put my wedding ring back on to get back that false sense of security. I'd rather go back to being alone then live a lie.

It is so painful.

I was unhappy in that marriage.

I'm lonely now.

When I'm not with my daughter there's no way someone would think I was divorced with a 16 year old, I look way too young for that.

I don't have the energy to pretend anymore.

I have way too life experience for someone my age.

But.

I have my life.



That wasn't out of the realm of possibilities for me had I stayed in that marriage. I've called the police on my ex numerous times since my divorce and come this close to filing a restraining order.

Part 3 to come later.