Yes, I understand. Right now I'm going through a situational down time because of a lot of stressors, but these can trigger episodes. Right now I only feel slightly ok (but still full of anxiety and sadness) when alone, and can't stand the idea of being at work or with others at the moment. That said, I reach out to others and sharing how I'm feeling helps somewhat.

I wish you well. I hope you can manage to distract yourself from all of the thinking, it can be a vicious cycle, which I've been in, and it's not selfish to want to be alone and to be alone. You have to do what you have to do, whatever works for you is best. I'm so sorry you're going through this awful time.