Hello there ....do you have a therapist ? Talking about things with someone can really help? There are support groups too to think abt if available in your area. I'm not sure if you have support from friends and family. Me myself only have an aunt and my adult daughter so I know support can be hard. I do not have any friends just one person from school but I only talk/text her once or twice every two months. She's not the support type just someone to shoot the breeze with. National Suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK. I hope some of this helps.