Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
I just want to make a pitch that there are therapists who don't act like the client matters to them personally and it can still work without all the huggy stuff, even for people like me who would definitely fall into the effedup attachment group. If others find success with it, great. I just wanted to say that not all therapists are out there acting super caring and some (well, one that I found) can still get the job done for really attachment-messed up people without a lot of frills.
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Problem for me is I can't tolerate even a little bit of feigned caring. Even if the therapist is mostly detached, they are still giving a staged performance. They are still suspending judgement and real thoughts and suppressing their own problems. And they are pretending to care whether they do or not. I can't handle the thought of turning myself inside out, bleating on and on about my problems, with someone who is paid to listen in this way. They say it's the relationship that heals, so that means the therapist has to become personally involved with the client to some degree. It's all so ambiguous.