I'll just post my summary of this final appointment with AT here - normally I'd put it in the "In Session Today" thread:

Last time, AT gave me homework. It was a spin-off of something that we discussed in that session. She asked me what advice I'd give a friend who was feeling stuck - like there are no options. I said I wouldn't be a good person to ask for advice on that since I can't even figure it out for myself. I said I'd be in the same boat. So the homework was to draw a boat with me in it. I wasn't going to do it because I didn't think I'd see her again. But, after speaking with her last night and agreeing to come in for the wrap-up session, I drew it at work today.

I showed the drawing to her, which was exactly what she had asked me to do - draw a boat (it was brown - like made of wood - a row boat or canoe type). I am not artistically gifted, so I did a sort of stick figure to represent me. I put some water under the boat. AT started asking me questions about where the boat was (what type of body of water), where it was going, if I wanted anyone else to be in the boat. I told her I had drawn it based on what she had instructed me to do, so it was just me, and I really hadn't thought about anything beyond that.

On the spot, I drew in one other person - that friend she'd brought up last week. Then, I added a box of wine (which I said was grape juice after she said she didn't condone drinking) and two glasses. She asked a few more questions - where were we going in the boat, what could I control and not control about it, which one of us would paddle, etc. Then, she asked what I'd do if the boat sprung a leak. I said I'd use the glasses to bail the water while the other person paddled like hell to get us to land. If we couldn't make it, we would get out and swim. AT asked how this all could be related to my life. I said that one should always have back up plans and use them as needed - i.e. what to do if the boat started taking on water. AT said that those were options, and that we are presented with options many times a day. I agreed. She wanted to be sure I knew there were options.

She took a picture of the drawing and gave me back all the drawings she still had from previous sessions. Then she gave feedback, which amounted to "I think you're very creative and kind. Definitely kind. There aren't many people in the world like that. I think you have lots to contribute, and I hope you'll explore your options and find ways to feel purposeful and important. And, choose life. You're still going to see the other therapist, right?" I told her I am [which is true, just not sure for how long].

I thanked her for working with me. She didn't seem like she was going to move from her chair, so I got up and walked over to her and put out my hand. We shook hands, and I said good bye.

My feelings about the session were that her feedback seemed rehearsed. I didn't feel like she had any "personal" feelings attached to what she said or how she said it. I was relieved that she didn't try to talk me into coming back for more sessions. I had a sense that she wanted to say more, but she didn't. I left just feeling kind of numb and disconnected. Not saying it's good or bad - it is what it is. As I drove home, I envisioned her typing up notes indicating that she had done her part - advised me that there are options and that I should choose life.

One therapist terminated with, one to go...